My Movie Collection

I wanted to see how many of MY movies you've all seen. Enjoy.

( )28 Days Later
( )28 Weeks Later
( )30 Days of Night
( )300
( )The 40 Year Old Virgin
( )The Abandoned
( )Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
( )Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
( )Alien
( )Aliens

Total:

( )Alien 3
( )Alien: Resurrection
( )American Gangster
( )American Psycho
( )An American Werewolf in London
( )The Amityville Horror (2005)
( )Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( )Appleseed
( )Appleseed Ex Machina
( )Azumi

Total:

( )Batman Begins
( )The Dark Knight
( )Battle Royale
( )A Beautiful Mind
( )The Beach
( )Beowulf
( )The Beyond
( )Big Fish
( )Big Trouble in Little China
( )Black Hawk Down

Total:

( )Blade
( )Blade 2
( )Blade: Trinity
( )Blade Runner
( )Blood Diamond
( )Body of Lies
( )The Boondock Saints
( )The Bourne Identity
( )The Bourne Supremacy
( )The Bourne Ultimatum

Total:

( )Braveheart
( )Brotherhood of the Wolf
( )Cabin Fever
( )Casino Royale
( )Child's Play
( )Children of Men
( )Clash of the Titans
( )Cloverfield
( )Club Dread
( )Collateral

Total:

( )Coraline
( )Crash
( )Creep
( )The Crow
( )The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
( )Dagon
( )Dance of the Dead
( )Dark Floors
( )The DaVinci Code
( )Dead Alive

Total:

( )Dead or Alive (DOA)
( )The Departed
( )The Descent
( )The Devil's Advocate
( )Die Hard
( )Live Free or Die Hard
( )Disturbia
( )Dog Soldiers
( )Donnie Darko
( )Doom

Total:

( )Doomsday
( )Dracula
( )Eastern Promises
( )End of Days
( )Enemy at the Gates
( )Equilibrium
( )Event Horizon
( )The Evil Dead
( )Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
( )Army of Darkness

Total:

( )The Exorcist
( )The Eye (original)
( )The Faculty
( )The Fast and the Furious
( )Fight Club
( )Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete
( )Friday the 13th
( )Friday the 13th (2009)
( )Friday the 13th Part 2
( )Friday the 13th Part 3

Total:

( )Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
( )Friday the 13th 5: A New Beginning
( )Friday the 13th 6: Jason Lives
( )Friday the 13th 7: The New Blood
( )Friday the 13th 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
( )Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
( )Jason X
( )Freddy vs. Jason
( )His Name Was Jason
( )Fright Night

Total:

( )The Frighteners
( )From Beyond
( )From Hell
( )Frontier(s)
( )The Game
( )Ghost in the Shell
( )Ghostbusters
( )Gladiator
( )The Goonies
( )Grandma's Boy

Total:

( )The Green Mile
( )Hackers
( )Halloween
( )Halloween (2007)
( )Halloween 2
( )Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
( )Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
( )Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
( )Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
( )Halloween H2O

Total:

( )Halloween Resurrection
( )Hard Candy
( )The Haunting (1999)
( )Heat
( )Hellboy
( )Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
( )Hellboy: Sword of Storms
( )Hellboy: Blood & Iron
( )Hellraiser
( )The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Total:

( )A History of Violence
( )The Hitcher (2007)
( )The Host
( )House of 1000 Corpses
( )The Devil's Rejects
( )House on Haunted Hill (1999)
( )Hot Fuzz
( )I, Robot
( )I am Legend
( )The Incredible Hulk

Total:

( )Raiders of the Lost Ark
( )Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( )Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
( )Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
( )Inside
( )Inside Man
( )In the Mouth of Madness
( )Iron Man
( )The Island
( )Jacob's Ladder

Total:

( )The Jacket
( )Jaws
( )Ju-on
( )The Grudge
( )Ju-on 2
( )Jurassic Park
( )The Lost World: Jurassic Park
( )Jurassic Park 3
( )King Arthur
( )King Kong

Total:

( )The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
( )Kingdom of Heaven
( )Kung Fu Panda
( )The Last Samurai
( )Legend
( )Let the Right One In
( )The Hobbit
( )The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( )The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Extended Cut
( )The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Total:

( )The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Cut
( )The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( )The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Extended Cut
( )Lord of War
( )The Lost Boys
( )The Matrix
( )Animatrix
( )Martyrs
( )Memento
( )Midnight Meat Train

Total:

( )Mimic
( )Mind Hunters
( )The Mist
( )Mortal Kombat
( )My Bloody Valentine
( )My Bloody Valentine (2009)
( )National Treasure
( )Night of the Living Dead
( )Night of the Living Dead (1990)
( )Dawn of the Dead

Total:

( )Dawn of the Dead (2004)
( )Day of the Dead (1985)
( )Land of the Dead
( )Diary of the Dead
( )Nightmare Detective
( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
( )No Country for Old Men
( )Office Space
( )Oldboy
( )One Missed Call (original)

Total:

( )The Orphanage
( )Out Cold
( )Panic Room
( )Pan's Labyrinth
( )Pet Semetary
( )Phantoms
( )Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
( )Pitch Black
( )Planet Terror
( )Predator

Total:

( )The Prestige
( )Prince of Darkness
( )Princess Mononoke
( )Pulse (Kairo)
( )Pulse
( )Pumpkinhead
( )Rambo
( )[REC]
( )Reincarnation (Rinne)
( )The Relic

Total:

( )Resident Evil
( )Resident Evil: Apocalypse
( )Resident Evil: Extinction
( )Resident Evil: Degeneration
( )Return of the Living Dead
( )Ringu
( )The Ring
( )Saving Private Ryan
( )Scream
( )Serenity

Total:

( )The Serpent and the Rainbow
( )Se7en
( )Shaun of the Dead
( )The Shawshank Redemption
( )The Shining (original)
( )Shutter (original)
( )Silent Hill
( )Sin City
( )6 Films to Keep You Awake
( )Sleepy Hollow

Total:

( )Snatch
( )Sphere
( )Spirited Away
( )Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
( )Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
( )Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
( )Stay
( )Stir of Echoes
( )The Strangers
( )Sunshine

Total:

( )Superbad
( )Super Troopers
( )Suspiria
( )Taken
( )A Tale of Two Sisters
( )Tears of the Sun
( )The Terminator
( )Terminator 2: Judgment Day
( )The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
( )Them

Total:

( )The Thing
( )TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
( )Tommy Boy
( )Transformers
( )Tropic Thunder
( )Troy
( )Underworld
( )Underworld Evolution
( )Unleashed
( )V for Vendetta

Total:

( )Vampire Hunter D
( )Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
( )Van Wilder
( )Videodrome
( )Wanted
( )Watchmen
( )Watchmen The Complete Motion Comics
( )X-Men 1.5
( )X2
( )Zodiac

Total:
Grand Total: /280

( ) Zombie Strippers [Bonus Film!]

Super Mega Ultra Grand Total: /281

Note: I tried to count 'em off 10 to a section but this was done at 3 in the morning and, holy hell, my eyes are hurtin'. Hopefully I counted right.

Transformers 2 Is Just 2 Much

Because I actually have to work today, I want to keep this short and sour. Seriously, going for a short word count here.

Let me just start of by saying that Transformers 2 is not a good movie. I am, for the most part, a Michael Bay apologist. I don't think any of his movies are QUALITY entertainment, but they are ENTERTAINING. Michael Bay knows how to direct action. He can make a blockbuster, special effects extravaganza. But Transformers 2 was any 2 of his old movies slammed together (like so many giant, alien robots within the film itself) and then turned up to 11.

At two and a half hours, Transformers 2 feels too long by at least a half hour, if not more. There are so many parts that could have been scrapped as they serve absolutely no purpose in the movie (besides earning some laughs at the utter stupidity of the situation). We see dogs humping, Transformers humping, a mother whacked out on pot brownies, Transformer testicles, Transformer farting, racially-stereotyped Transformers...the list goes on and on. Sure, I saw a lot of these things and smiled or even chuckled, but it was from a state of shock; I was reacting to all of the asinine imagery in the way the filmmakers wanted, but for all of the wrong reasons.

The plot is...not there? Kinda there? Maybe? I'm not sure. Long story short, Transformers have been to earth before. Transformers arrive, help humans build pyramids, build a machine to steal our sun even though they're not supposed to because it's OUR sun so the Transformers are divided and thus we have Autobots and Decepticons, yeah. Oh, and the Fallen? Why, exactly, is it that he can only be defeated by a Prime (did not realize the Prime in Optimus Prime was actually a last name, passed down the ancestral tree)? Because it's revealed to us in scene of exposition, of course.

A lot of the characters are back, but not necessarily for the better. Shia is still Shia, Megan is still hot, Turturro is still zany, but others are just...there. Josh Duhamel's character now exists to be that guy yelling orders on the battlefield--and Tyrese is there to spout one-liners and act as a wall for Josh to bounce lines off of--the end. A new hottie is introduced but, SPOILER, she's a Decepticon in disguise and gets run over by a Volvo (or something) during the first half. Shia has a roommate who decides to run with Shia and Megan as giant robots attack, and thus becomes a major character in the film--and by major character in the film I, of course, mean he's in the movie ONLY to provide comic relief in a movie that is filled to brim with comic relief.

The action is still big and flashy, but not all that involving. I was never really awed by any of it--unlike my first viewing of the first one. Big, CGI robots bash heads and there's sparks and explosions and fire--your typical Michael Bay fare--but there were a few points where I couldn't tell which Transformers were in the fight. I think everything just went so over-the-top that I stopped caring about anything; instead, I switch my brain to stand-by mode and just stared at the pretty pretties.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make lots and lots o' money (the Amigo here in Bemidji had it in 3 screens last night at midnight, and they were all sold out), but that doesn't mean it's GOOD. No, it's the very definition of a summer popcorn flick AND THEN SOME. It's too long, too over-the-top, it's just too much. Dial it back a bit, Bay. Give us a high octane special effects/action flick where we can actually respect the characters and the story, not pity them.

By the way, what is it with Michael Bay films looking like recruitment ads for the military? I understand that Bay gets to save some money because he's got the right friends in the right places--I assume it's one of those "make the military look badass and we'll let you use some tanks, jets, etc"--but at some point, it just gets to be a bit too much.

10 years later and there's still a splinter in my mind

Way back in 1999, two relatively unknown brothers-turned-directors brought us one of the most groundbreaking, imaginative sci-fi/action movies of all time. I know people say that about shit all the time, but IMO, this time it's for realz.

The Matrix was a pioneer in special effects, throwing enough bullets and fire at the camera to take on Ted Nugent while, at the same time, introducing the mainstream movie-viewing audiences to bullet time (whether or not they actually invented bullet time is still debated). and beyond that, under all of that spit and polish, there was something more. For one of the first times, I saw a film that not only kept me entertained on a glorious, action-packed level, but also on a deep, intellectual level as well. To this day, I can still throw in the Wachowski Brothers' masterpiece (and I do believe it to be a masterpiece) and be completely enthralled in the world(s) they have created. The effects still, for the most part, hold up, and the story is still as engaging and thought-provoking as ever.

Keanu is still clueless--but in this role it works--and Laurence "I am Morpheus" Fishburn is kicking ass in all his bald glory; Carrie-Anne Moss, who, until this movie, was unknown to me, pulls her weight as the ass-kicking dominatrix love interest; and finally, this is where Joey Pants and Hugo "Agent Elrond" Weaving were first brought to my attention. What I'm trying to say is that this cast is solid without being an ensamble of grade-A pretty boys and girls.

The plot, for those not in the know, is about a computer generated dream world that is actually the world we live in every day. Keanu is Neo who wants to know what the Matrix is. Morpheus is the guy who can enlighten him. I'd tell you more but, as Morpheus says, "No one can tell you what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." Regardless, its name kicking and ass taking to the max times infinity. Alright, I may be exaggerating a bit. Seriously though, there's enough action and explosions to make any Die Hard fan happy; enough effects to amaze you and make you hate George Lucas for making us overdose on Jar-Jar; and enough philosophical depth holding it all together to make you wonder why geeks and nerds aren't getting laid more.

Am I gushing? Maybe, but so what. I'm a fanboy. There, I said it. But it's not without reason. The Matrix is a damn fine film. One of my top 5, actually. It may not be that way for everyone, but I still suggest you give it a chance.

And what better way than the newly released 10th Anniversary Blu-ray edition of The Matrix. Go. Now.

Breaking it down

A follow-up to the last post.

March 26, 2009

Breaking it down as simply as possible:

Resident Evil 1, 2, 3, CV = Alien = horror
Resident Evil 4, 5 = Aliens = action

I'm a big fan of both movies, but I think Alien is superior. I'm always a horror guy, and Ridley Scott made an excellent horror movie with Alien. That film was a prime example of survival horror in movie terms.

On the other hand, Jim Cameron took Ridley's film and the ideas he put forth and took it to a new level. There are still horror elements in Aliens, but now, instead of being weaponless against one tough baddy, the heroes are armed to the teeth but the enemy has upped the ante.

Even in structure, the two are similar. In the original REs, you're exploring a confined area, similar to the Nostromo. In RE 4 or 5 you're movie from area to area within a region, similar to the marines moving around the colony on LV-426.

Regarding Resident Evil

March 17, 2009

I'm a Resident Evil fanboy. To most of you, this isn't a shock. I've been playing Resident Evil for more than a decade. I've purchased an entire system--the Gamecube--based only on the fact the Resident Evil was going to be "exclusive" to that system. Recently, I reserved my copy Resident Evil 5--not the generic $60 version but the $90 Collector's Edition. Friday afternoon, I walked into Gamestop and picked up that copy of Resident Evil 5. Sunday, I completed the story. And I ENJOYED it.

Don't get me wrong, it had its share of problems, my biggest one being how the ending played out, but it was still a great game. I'm already playing through it again, going after achievements and trying to unlock all the little things. And yet, I'm finding myself slightly unsatisfied.

For all of the new game's greatness, it leaves my wanting. Not wanting more. I guess I'd have to say it has me wanting LESS. Well, maybe not less, but something else. Something OLD. I love Resident Evil 4, I love Resident Evil 5, but I miss Resident Evil. I miss the horror. I miss tight confines, zombies, Umbrella, fixed cameras and limited ammo. A lot of people have said it--"Resident Evil isn't survival horror anymore; it's action."--and I've agreed. But RE4 and RE5 are great, regardless. And I don't fault them. They needed something fresh and they found a working concoction. Kudos to Capcom.

Still, over time, I realized that, although they're great, they're missing a lot of the things I loved about the series in the beginning. As much as back-tracking pissed me off in RE 1-whatever, I'd welcome it back with open arms; RE 5 was pretty much a linear game. Those fixed cameras may be archaic now, but they were fantastic for creating tension, never allowing you to see what may or may not be up ahead. The new games still contain a story, and the story is still damn good, but it almost takes a back seat to the in your face action elements. I liked the old days of one or two slow moving zombies in a hallway, lots of eerie sound effects (and silence), and taking the time to really appreciate the game's design and story.

Maybe it's just me, but after years of playing Resident Evil 1 and 2, I would hold fond memories of the environments in which those games take place. I can picture that mansion's layout like it's my own house. I know the nooks and crannies of the Raccoon Police Department like they're the ones signing my checks. But these new games? Yeah, the villages are cool. Sure, the castle in 4 is huge, or the compounds, or whatever. But they're linear. You move THROUGH them instead of lingering IN them. I can see them in my head, but I don't feel anything about them.

I know, to most of you reading this, I sound like an obsessive fanboy/borderline nutcase. Maybe so. But these games have entertained me for years. Actually, scratch that. These aren't just games. This is a world, nay, a universe. I've played the games, I've seen the movies, I've read the books, I've researched the background. Like Tolkien's Middle-Earth, I've invested so much of myself in the world Capcom created, its like a second (or third, after Middle-Earth) home to me.

I dunno. I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the new places Resident Evil has gone are fantastic. Yeah. The new games are. I'll play 'em, again and again. But still, to me, I enjoy 'em more as games, as an addendum to the universe instead of the as the universe itself. Does that make sense? Does any of it make sense? Maybe you just have to be in my mindset, be as passionate about this as I am. Maybe I'm just wrong. I dunno. Food for thought.

Regardless, if Capcom keeps making 'em, I'll keep playing 'em.

P.S. You know, I know what I need. Do to Resident Evil 2 what was done to the original Resident Evil. Spruce it up. I don't care if it's 3 or 4 or 5 hours. I don't care if there's no Mercenaries mini-games. I want a good, creepy story and a small, personal environment. Capcom, give me the RPD the way you gave me the Arklay Mansion the second time around.

Who watches the WATCHMEN? I do!

March 6, 2009

After nearly a quarter of the century, the book that was quoted as being "un-filmable" is finally hitting the big screen. So, did Zack Snyder (300) do the source material justice, or is this just one more butchered adaptation?

Normally, I throw in a little spice, a little background, with my reviews. This time, I'm skipping that part. If you want to know how much trouble this film went through in the process of getting made, or if you don't know and want to find out what the Watchmen is about, look it up on your own time. Otherwise, I'm going to assume those of you who are reading this want to know how the movie stacks up according to my own opinion.

First off: As a fan of the graphic novel, I thought the film was great. Is it perfect? No. Does it have its share of problems? Absolutely. Does that mean you should skip it? Absolutely NOT.

Watchmen is very dense. There are a number of characters, all with their own history, to keep track of; there are stories WITHIN the story. Basically, you've got an onion in your hands; layers upon layers upon layers. The depth is astounding. To try and put that into a 2 hour movie would be impossible. It was hard enough with a 2 hour and 45 minute time-frame. For me, this movie did what Lord of the Rings did nearly a decade ago, it condensed the heart of the source material into something digestible for the common audience. This is the fast food version of the graphic novel; you get the gist in short order, but it comes at the price of missing elements. Things were left out along the way, but by and large, they were secondary to the heart of the story.

That story is still there, but I still have to question: will a non-reader of the Watchmen novel understand what's happening? I went with Tara, but since it was a midnight showing and she's already in bed, I wasn't able to ask what she got out of the film. Even as someone who has read the book, I feel like maybe the film feels a little too disjointed to be absorbed as easily as needed. Don't get me wrong, it happens in much the same way the graphic novel, but it happens much quicker. The audience has all of these characters and their relationships and their history thrown at them. On top of that, they have all of this information about conspiracies and nuclear war with Russia to wrap their minds around. Like I said: an onion.

The acting was, for the most part, pretty good. Others have said it (and there's a possibility that their opinions may have influenced my own, so take it with a grain of salt), but Malin Akerman (Silk Spectre) was a little wooden. Not horribly so, just not quite up to snuff.

On the other hand, Jackie Earle Haley was da bomb (oh yes, I went there) as Rorschach. Again, others have said it, but this opinion is my own. There is no other Rorschach. Tara said his voice bothered her because he sounded just like Christian Bale's portrayal of Batman. This is true, but it's just the way it had to be. Seriously. Pick up the graphic novel and look at his jabber bubble. I'll wait. Got a copy? Ok. Now find Rorschach in there. Good? Good. See, the bubble has jagged edges. When I saw that, I read it as a gravelly voice. Apparently I wasn't the only one. It fits. Moving on. No, not from Rorschach, from his VOICE. I'm just getting started on Rorschach. JEH played the character with just the right nuances. He was crazy in the right ways. He was, for a man of his stature, one hell of a bad ass. "You don't understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!" He was the character I cheered for because he was the one kicking so much ass. Was he really crazy? Or did he just remove the filter that rest of us see the world through? You decide. Anyways, pure greatness.

Billy Crudup as Doc Manhatten. He's blue, he teleports, he builds a weird, new-wave glass condo on Mars, it's all there. I think the part was played pretty well. My only problem is his voice. I don't know what I was expecting, but somehow, that wasn't quite it. I think it's that, for someone with so much power, well, his voice doesn't convey that. Maybe it's just me. Regardless, that "just me" comment is just a nitpick. Also, beware of a multitude of glowing blue penises in this film. They pop up quite often (no pun intended).

Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl. What to say. I loved it. To me, Nite Owl was the sensible one. He's the Batman of the Watchmen universe, relying on his gadgets and intelligence to get shit done. He's also human. He was once a superhero and now he's an out-of-work superhero who put on a few pounds around the midsection. He missess the old job. It was his livelihood. So much his livelihood that he has problems getting it up. Yeah. If that doesn't make you feel something for his character...for shame! Really though, Wilson gave Nite Owl a believability that I can't quite put my finger on. He was the sense of reason. He was your voice in the movie. I found myself relating to him the most (sans the lack of a healthy blood flow, if you catch my drift--that was remedied later in the movie, BTW).

The Comedian. First "hero" seen in the book, first one seen in the film. Played by Jeffery Dean Morgan who has really been popping up on my radar in the "kick's ass" category, which is hard for me to admit. Why? Because the only things I've seen him in are TV's Grey's Anatomy and P.S. I Love You. That's right, entertainment primarily for the female audience. Tara watches 'em, I watch them with her. It happens. Still, every time I've seen JDM, his characters are just extremely likeable guys. Ironic, since the Comedian is the most despicable character in Watchmen. Still, there were those moments when, despite the baaaaad shit you've seen him do, you enjoyed seeing the Comedian. THAT is what JDM brought to the character.

Finally, Ozymandias, played by Matthew Goode. Can't say the guy has ever blipped on the radar. Period. I don't know if this movie will change that. Don't get me wrong, he did alright here, but only alright. There were some nuances he brought--like giving Ozzy a slight touch of a German accent while among friends while keeping a strictly American accent while in the public eye--to the character, but nothing he did is going to make me jump out of my seat in excitement the next time I see the trailer for a Matthew Goode film. Passable.

Now, the story. Like I mentioned, things are missing. The biggest thing: the squid. If you don't know what I'm talking about, no worries. I may actually say that this was...a...good...change. Maybe...? Let's face it, a giant squid is hard to fathom. The change they made just works better for a mega motion picture like this. Maybe it's blasphemy, maybe not. Either way, I said it. In some ways, I think it helps make things more cohesive.

I could go on about other small things I noticed were missing, but I'm not going to. For one, this is a 12 issues comic series condensed, like I said, into 2 hours and 45 minutes. Yet that's not the full film. There is also a 3+ hour version with additional scenes, and a 3 hour and 20 minute ultimate version with the animated Tales of the Black Freighter to be spliced in on top of the additional scenes. The studios allow for a limited amount of time for theatrical movies. Once I see the FULL versions, then I'll go through the missing bits.

The effects were well done. There was noticeable CGI, but I've learned that sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. After all, it wasn't Sci-Fi channel original movie CGI.

The music. Well, I liked most of the songs they chose, although occasionally they felt out of place. Another reviewer, probably on Ain't It Cool, mentioned this as well. Tyler Bates' score just fit. I didn't feel like it was overly imposing. It added to scenes, but didn't overpower them.

This isn't a film for everyone. It can be pretty slow. It can be pretty dense. It, most likely, will require more than one viewing. But I do believe it to be a quality film. In all honesty, I don't think anyone could have ever done it better. Like the Lord of the Rings, if you watch the Watchmen, you'll be given the heart of the story they want you to know. Things will be changed, things will be missing, but by the time the credits role, the essence has remained, more-or-less, in tact.

Ok, so I'm starting to go cross-eyed now. 4 AM. Yay. Is this a coherent review? Probably not. I'll re-read it tomorrow and I'm sure an open-palmed slap to the forehead will follow. Alas, in my current state of mind, I can do no better. I just needed to get my thoughts written down while the film was still fresh in my mind. Bare with me.

I also want to add that tonight was only my first viewing of Watchmen. I hope to go again soon--as early as tomorrow night (Friday)--to view it in less of a "geeked-out" state of mind. So yeah, these are preliminary thoughts. I'm sure I'm missing things I wanted to comment on, I'm sure there are things badly worded, and I'm sure this is way too fucking long for most people to still be reading, but I'm still typing.

Seeing TROPICal PINEAPPLEs in MIRRORS

Triple Kill!

August 16, 2008

I went on a movie binge this week. I promised a review of Tropic Thunder, but I figured I might as well do the other two as well.

First off, my Tuesday night viewing: Pineapple Express. It's a stoner comedy. What more do you want me to say? It was a decent movie although I didn't find anything spectacular about it. The writing was decent, as was the acting. Still, I feel like it was missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it, though. Since I've never even tried pot, I think the stoner jokes may have slid past me on some level, leaving me wanting. Don't get me wrong, I did laugh. It just wasn't what I expected. To me, this fruit wasn't quite ripe for the picking. Probably my least favorite of the three, I still recommend giving it a try. After all, it wasn't a bad movie by any means.

Tropic Thunder was my Wednesday excursion. Unlike Pineapple, this film was right up my alley. The face comedy aside, TT has a nice second layer of satirical humor. This is a movie about the making of a movie as well as making fun of the making of movies. There are some funny-ass quotes, cameos up the rear, subtle (and not-so-subtle) movie references, and even faux trailers in the vein of the Grindhouse movies. Besides being pretty damn funny, there's a decent action movie dancing around the comedy. I've never been much of a fan of Ben Stiller but I've gotta give him props for this film--not only as the star (although I think he's overshadowed by Robert Downey Jr.) but as director and writer as well. If all of this isn't enough, who doesn't want to see a movie drowning in controversy? We have RDJr playing an Australian (some say his role takes a jab at Russell Crowe) actor who himself is playing a black guy. On top of that, we have organizations for the mentally handicapped boycotting the movie because Ben Stiller plays an actor who plays Simple Jack, a retarded farmboy. I definitely recommend watching this one, for [SPOILER] Tom Cruise's role if nothing else.

Finally, the non-comedy of the three: Mirrors. Alexandre Aja directs the newest Asian ghost story remade for American audience. I've gotta say, I'm a little torn over this movie. On one hand, I was hoping for a much scarier flick. On the other, the film was, stylistically, a treat. Slightly creepy with a few boo-scares thrown in for fun, Mirrors has a lot of ideas reminiscent of older horror movies and even a video game. That's right, I felt a Silent Hill vibe during this movie. If you choose to go see this, keep an eye open for references (intentional or not) to movies like The Frighteners, Army of Darkness, and House on Haunted Hill. I enjoyed this movie in much the same way that I enjoyed the American remake of Pulse; it wasn't scary, but it was interesting and entertaining; a lot of cool concepts and some decent gore effects. Flawed and yet still entertaining--maybe it's so bad that it's good (I think I need to reflect on it a bit more [sorry])? I recommend this one sparingly; chances are you won't be scared, but if you keep and open mind it still may be worth your while.

Until next time...

Why so serious?

July 18, 2008

It was over 40 years ago that Adam West (with a BAM! POW! SMASH!) introduced us to a live action Batman for the masses. Then, nearly 20 years ago, Michael Keaton, under the direction of Tim Burton, showed us a gothic, big screen version of the caped crusader. Before the end of the last century, we saw Michelle Pfeiffer dress like a dominatrix, Jim Carrey model the most fashionable question-marked spandex, and George Clooney educate us in the anatomy of bats (Nipples? On a superhero costume? Was that really necessary???). It felt like our favorite pointy-eared hero would never recover from the slump Joel Schumacher forced him into.

Then came Christopher Nolan. In 2005, with the help of David S. Goyer (screenwriter of the Blade Trilogy), he reinvented the franchise, bringing it back to it's dark roots. More realism, less cheese, Batman Begins gave Batman fans something to rejoice over. But this review isn't about Batman Begins. Oh no, far are we from the slower paced (but still overly entertaining) origin story. Now, Christopher is back to introduce us to the next stage of Batman's evolution: the Dark Knight... And oh is it dark.

The hype that has surrounded this film is awe-inspiring. Even before the tragic loss of Heath Ledger, this movie was one to be anticipated. After Ledger's untimely demise, the hype only increased. No, that isn't quite right. It fucking went off the scale. After tonight, I can say with complete honesty: it didn't do this film justice.

With tickets bought in advance, Tara and I made it to a completely sold out two-screen showing of The Dark Knight. The lights dimmed, the audience cheered. Silence ensued. I have never seen a crowd so enthralled with a film. Everyone was completely in the moment. There were screams, there was laughter, there was total enjoyment.

Where to begin? The acting. Yes, yes. Christian Bale played an outstanding Bruce Wayne/Batman, but, then again, who doubted this? An outstanding supporting cast was spot on. Alfred, played by Michael Caine, was the voice of reason in Bruce's ear, offering sentiment and wisdom to our conflicted hero. Gordon, played once more by the outstanding Gary Oldman, was Batman's traditional partner in crime. Harvey Dent was played by Aaron Eckhart and, in this role, we see this actor's true potential; great stuff. Maggie Gyllenhaal replaced Katie Holmes as Batman's love interest, Rachel, and did an outstanding job. As Q was to Bond, Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) is to Bruce; spot on once again. But of course, the real man of the hour is the late Heath Ledger.

Ledger didn't just raise the bar for villians, he blasted that thing into orbit and spot-welded it to one of the satellites. The Joker is everything we geeks have always wanted. His humor, although at times laughable, is mostly repulsive. The lengths he goes to will make you cringe. This isn't just a power hungry bad guy out to make a little mischief for our hero. The Joker is so sinister (you'll love his magic trick) that you really do fear for Gotham. All throughout the movie, I just kept thinking "here is a guy who will do whatever he wants to without a second thought; no one is safe." The extent of the Joker's madness made me fear for every single character in this film. Heath Ledger truly showed me the caliber of his acting ability: the very highest. Still, these words (especially since they're being typed at 3:30 in the morning) won't even come close to doing his performance justice. It is really something all of you must see. Others have said it and I will agree: I smell an posthumous Oscar. Again, let me emphasize, go see this film. Ledger's performance is reason enough.

Nolan's directing and writing are also worth mentioning. Hell, it's some of the best around. I truly believe he is the only man who should handle the Batman franchise from this point forth. His eye, his creations, are spot on with the Batman universe.

The action sequences are great. Well thought out and amazingly executed, the action holds you at attention. Fight scenes, car chases, the thrills do exactly that. I will say that the fight sequences can be a little muddled at times. But, in the grand scheme of things, it's forgivable. Still, the action takes a backseat to the story anyways.

This is a plot driven film. More than a superhero movie, this is about right and wrong, politics, morals... Choice. Everything you think you know about a hero may change after watching this film. To quote the Joker: "Tonight, you're gonna break your one rule." You really start to see that Batman, underneath his suit, is still just flesh and blood. He hurts, physically and emotionally and those emotions will be put to the test.

All in all, Nolan has created a fantastic follow up to Batman Begins. What's more, this film isn't slowed down with the Batman origin. The pace starts strong and never lets up. This is quite possibly the best movie I have seen this year, but, since I haven't had a lot of time to digest it yet, we'll know for sure tomorrow (and even more so after my next viewing). My verdict: GO SEE THIS MOVIE! It's action, it's drama. There's love and loss and betrayal. There's humor and horror. It's a mixed bag of tricks that should work for everyone. See it. Now.

BTW, for a specific group of fanboys out there: the Watchmen trailer (directed by Zack Snyder) was attached to this film. Can you say "geekgasm"?

Sorry for how muddled and rambling this review is. If it doesn't make sense or if I missed anything, I apologize. In my defense, it is now 4 am.

What's big, red, and loves kittens?

A little more info, I'm a huge Hellboy fan, as well as a huge Guillermo Del Toro fan. I think GDT is one of the best fantasy director's--nay, the best director's, PERIOD--out there today. As a huge Tolkien fan, I can think of no one better (except Mr. Jackson himself) to take up the beloved story of Mr. Bilbo's first adventure. But this is about Hellboy. The imagery, the heart, the quality, everything about GDT's work on Hellboy is outstanding. Love, love, lovity, love-love. Check it out if you haven't seen it. It's a little out there, but that's what's great.

July 11, 2008

In 2004, Guillermo Del Toro (Blade 2, Pan's Labyrinth) brought us Mike Mignola's devilishly entertaining creation, Hellboy. Starring Ron Perlman (Blade 2, Hellboy) as big red himself, the original movie dabbled in World War 2, the black arts, and even a bit of the Cthulhu mythos. Still, underneath all of that, there was a great action/fantasy superhero film that was vastly underrated. A passion project for Del Toro, he forged ahead to make the sequel: Hellboy 2 and the Golden Army.

This time around, Hellboy, along with his burning-hot leading lady Liz Sherman and his greenish-blue around the gills partner, Abe Sapien, are charged with the task of stopping Prince Nuada. Nuada, of an ancient race, wants to awaken the Golden Army, seventy times seventy mechanical soldiers that just happen to be indestructable, to destroy all of mankind.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a huge fanboy of Guillermo's work. Pan's Labyrinth was a beautiful take on fairy tales. His vision is so wonderful, in fact, that Peter Jackson asked Guillermo to direct not one, but both Hobbit movies. All I have to say is this: aside from Peter himself, Guillermo is the only director who has the power to pull this off.

Back on track, though, Guillermo has dazzled again with Hellboy 2. Much less a gothic action/horror and more of an action/fantasy, the new Hellboy does everything the original did and then some. The comedy (of which there is some fun-neee shit) and action aside, the design of this film is breath-taking. The Troll Market is (if I may borrow from many other reviewers', well, reviews*) like watching the cantina scene in the original Star Wars, but, in my opinion, way better. Using a mix of puppetry, animatronics, and CGI, Guillermo creates a wonderful little world that you can't possibly absorb in the short time you are there. Instead of throwing his creations front and center, these creatures are part of the backdrop and thus create a backdrop that rivals, and sometimes surpasses, the action in the foreground. The variety of visuals in this scene alone is astounding.

The action is fantastic. Fight sequences are well choreographed and engaging when they appear. The Golden Army is massive and beautiful in it's entirety.

Still, this isn't purely an action film. A little drama, anyone? There are a few scenes of bickering between Hellboy and Liz that help lighten the mood.

Plus, this time around, though, our resident fish-man, Abe (played amazingly in body and voice by Doug Jones), gets a bit more screen time. Not only is he kicking more ass but he's a bigger part of the plot as a whole. So Hellboy 2 not only entertains us with a somewhat rocky romance between HB and Liz, but is also paralleled by Abe's overwhelming attraction to the antagonists (good) twin sister. The scene towards the middle where Hellboy and Abe drown their sorrows over a few beers while listening to Barry Manilow had the audience rolling. The dialog is that good.

Johann, Abe, Hellboy, and Liz

Even more laughs are added when Johann Kraus, the ethereal new leader, enters the film. His pissing contest with HB (in which HB is really the only one doing the pissing) is entertaining, but when they finally settle things... well, watch it and see.

So far we have outstanding visuals, fast-paced action, laughing so hard you might cry comedy, a bit of a sappy love story for the ladies... You want more?

How about a bit of reality? Hellboy, 6 and a half feet tall, bright red, muscled to high hell, pissy, trimmed down horns, and a whip like tail. Let's just say hero isn't the first thing that comes to mind when the public finally sees him. In a sad turn of events, HB ends up doubting his role as public protector when he is shunned after saving a baby from a (bad-ass) elemental. This film really works towards looking at all situations from all angles. Although Prince Nuada is the "villian," one can't help but feel like he's somewhat justified in his goals. After the public scorn, even Hellboy begins to wonder if the world is really worth all of his suffering. It's really hard to want to be the hero when all you get is scorn from those you save.

All-in-all, Guillermo Del Toro has once again outdone himself. He has created a movie that is potentially pre-apocalyptic in it's plot yet still finds the time to throw on a layer of cheese. Oh yes, there is cheese; you can tell that Hellboy 2 doesn't take itself seriously from time to time. Yet, at the end of the day, the hilarity is pushed aside for the final battle and the seriousness of the situations. Real characters (and character developement) and a fantastically realized world make Hellboy 2 one of the most entertaining movies I've seen this year. I can't wait for round 2 with the big red guy.

Mike, out.

*Thanks to the guys over at AintItCool.com.

My Two Cents: Doomsday Review

March 16, 2008

While not a horror film, there were still a few [mildly] disturbing scenes. I have to agree with Dobe: the film is pure entertainment. A nice, big helping of action with a light sprinkling of comedy and horror, Doomsday, in my eyes, was a success.

It's true that this doesn't have much originality but that's part of what makes it so fun; you're basically watching a bunch of cool 80's movies steam-rolled into a one hour and forty-five minute thrill ride.

The acting, while not Oscar-worthy, was pretty damn good. Mitra felt a bit wooden but there's a good possibility that was what Marshall was going for -- a pure hard ass when the shit hit the fan. Sol (Craig Conway), on the other hand, was very charismatic (which is kind of a creepy thought), for his part. On a personal note, I found a lot of enjoyment seeing familiar faces from Marshall's other films (Dog Soldiers, The Descent).

The action was executed pretty well. The quick cuts (ex. the sword fight) kind of bothered me but it barely merits mention; although it's nice to have extended choreography, a lack of it isn't going to break the bank. There were a couple of decent chase sequences but the final car chase, in my opinion, was one of the best I've seen. Explosions, death, destruction, all of it beautifully shot.

There were some excellent gore effects. Arrows, decapitations, severed and/or crushed limbs, burning bodies, the list goes on. And the infected... oh, the infected. Although not seen too much, their brief appearances should linger. Grotesque. Fans of gore shouldn't be let down.

My only quip, which is really just me splitting hairs, is that parts felt a bit rushed. I think adding maybe five minutes of second unit footage would have made the film more complete.
One example (again, this is person preference): it was mentioned that the team's only way out would be through helicopter extraction and then only if they had the cure. Personally, I would have added a longer, more telling shot of the wall being re-sealed once they were through. I just think it would have really driven home that they were on their own, adding another level of depth to the film. An extra 10 seconds and, voila!, magic.
On the other hand, this is an entertainment movie and I'm sure they were trying to keep things up to speed rather than focus on too much depth. Thus, this is a small, "splitting hair" detail.

Overall, extremely well executed as long as you don't mind the fact that it borrows from so many other sources. It does make it feel more up-to-date with better effects and technology. Apparently Doomsday was made for a mere $30 million. To me it felt -- and looked -- more like it could have cost between $50 and $75 million.
If you're a fan of Neil Marshall's other work and you don't mind straying away from horror, definitely check this out. While a lot of people may not want to buy it, I think it's definitely worth at least one viewing and on a big screen no less.

My final grade: 8/10